


Jean and Reiner's Gay Piratical Adventures

by MercuryBlade



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blow Jobs, Frottage, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:34:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29098881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MercuryBlade/pseuds/MercuryBlade
Summary: Jean and Reiner escape Pirate Island and reflect on what exactly is happening to Reiner while considering all their options.Summary for anyone who hasn't read "The Problem with Peace" but is interested in this pairing-the Titan Shifter powers are undergoing radical changes in the post-Rumbling world. After having been kidnapped by Pirates and escaping on a clipper crewed by Reiner's cult(just go with it) Jean and Reiner are coping with some of these changes. Jean is currently in a relationship with Hitch; Reiner is in a political marriage with Historia which is a bit rocky.Mild spoilers for what is actually happening to Reiner for those following the main timeline. This work isn't necessary to read if you're not interested in this pairing but following the main story, nor is it technically canon to the main story's timeline.
Relationships: Reiner Braun/Jean Kirstein
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16
Collections: The Problem With Peace





	Jean and Reiner's Gay Piratical Adventures

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ZsGurl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZsGurl/gifts), [bugidan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bugidan/gifts).



“You sneaky wench, what are you up to?” Jean watched one of Reiner’s cult, Talia, skulk towards the Captain’s Cabin on the deck of the Trident. The sea and wind were calm—the ocean a magnificent azure and the sky light speckled with spots of white cloud—and some of the crew placidly attending to the dawn chores, swabbing the deck with saltwater, tightening the halyards and braces, fiddling with other parts Jean didn’t understand, all under the watch of the bosun, Lagi.

Jean pushed off the gunwale of the ship and trotted towards her before she could open the door to the Captain’s cabin, “Stop.”

She glanced back and frowned at him. She still disliked him from kicking her out of Reiner’s room when she was hungover.

“What are you doing, Talia, we’ve talked about this.”

She lifted a glass bottle and a spoon and nodded towards Ronal, their leader. Ronal, an elderly woman whose age Jean couldn’t quite guess at, reclined on the deck under a parasol. She appeared to be taking a nap. “Ronal told you to bring him that? I’ll do it.” Jean said, holding his hands out.

Reluctantly Talia handed him the bottle and the spoon. She flicked her hair and stalked off towards Ronal. He watched her go and then speak to Ronal in a rapid fire of angry words. Ronal looked up at her, then responded back and waved at Jean. Talia crossed her hands over her ample chest and plopped herself down on the deck, sticking her tongue out at him.

“What are you, twelve?” Jean snapped and opened the cabin door to duck inside. Once inside he found himself a little overwhelmed by the scent of varnished wood. It was darker inside which took him a bit to adjust too.

“Hey, Jean.” Reiner said. He sat on the edge of the captain’s bed, propped on his knees as if he was having trouble keeping upright.

“I just got rid of Talia.” Jean said, scooting inside. 

“I’m pretty sure she hasn’t done anything.”

Jean narrowed his eyes. “It’s not what she has done, but what she will do that worries me. I suspect her motives are not pure.”

“Well thanks for defending my honour against her nefarious intentions such as they are.”

Jean’s eyes had finally adjusted and he was able to see that Reiner was shivering and sweating, his skin had taken on a slick paleness.

“Getting worse?”

Reiner nodded. “A little.”

Jean ducked into the Captain’s head and pumped some water into the basin, wetting a cloth. He moved to his side, placed the bottle and spoon on the side table, and started to dab the wet cloth on Reiner’s face. “What’s in the bottle?”

Reiner uncorked it and poured himself a dose, swallowing it along with a gulp from his canteen. “A sedative.”

“You’re so shaky. Are you sea sick?”

“No. It’s the ocean.”

“It’s talking to you, again is it? Is there anything I can do?”

Reiner’s eyes widened: he looked put on the spot for some unfathomable reason. He shook his head, a little too quickly. “Not really.”

He returned to wiping the sweat off Reiner’s face.

Reiner stopped him, catching his hand. “I can probably do that myself.”

Jean shook his head. “Eh. I don’t mind. You look like you could use some kindness.”

Reiner closed his eyes. “Thank you.”

“You’re my friend. So what’s the ocean saying?”

Reiner shook his head. “It’ll sound ridiculous.”

“Yes, well then it’ll fit right in with the rest of this. We just escaped the clutches of an evil Pirate Queen on a boat crewed by a bunch of cultists who think you’re their God.”

“The Rumbling was he result of the conflict between the Aesir and Vanir. That conflict echoes out into the nine realms. If the energy of the Aesir is war, then the Vanir is the opposite. And the titan powers have become… sort of a conduit for the Vanir.”

“Peace?”

Reiner shook his head. “Nooo. Think less political and more primal.” 

“You’re going to have to help me out here.”

“Wisdom. But also the creation of life.”

“Oh.” Jean said. His brow drew. “Oh… I see. So it’s sexual. You know that actually explains a lot. It is just you.”

Reiner rubbed his eyes. “Just me what?”

Jean chuckled. “If that’s how it is, if you’re a sex god, then I have no choice.”

Reiner rolled his eyes. “Don’t you start. I’m not a god.”

“Shh… just let me have my ego-preserving fiction.”

“So the energy of all creation is… moving in. It’s overwhelming. It’s not just sexual, it’s also sort of hallucinatory. There are moments I forget I’m human.”

“Too bad Historia isn’t here then. For the… you know, life part.”

“Considering how much trouble I’m having with her, I think putting this much pressure behind it as well would just be agony. I wish I could but there’s all this shit in the way that I don’t understand.” Reiner hesitated. “But yeah, having an outlet probably would help.”

Silence fell. Jean placed the wash cloth on his basin, struggling a little with what he wanted to say. “Then maybe what you need is a friend instead of a lover.” He said finally. “If it would help.”

Reiner smirked. “Are you seriously offering?”

Jean grinned back. “Are you seriously accepting?”

“You’d do that for me? I’m touched.”

Jean put his fist out. “Anything for my bro.” 

“Aw.” Reiner bumped it. He shook his head.

“I mean I’m making an assumption here. It’s hard to figure out you out sometimes, what’s a joke, what’s not. So I don’t know if you like men or me—“

Reiner slipped both hands around Jean’s neck, pressing his thumbs against the soft flesh under his jaw. Jean shivered and braced himself for something painful and aggressive. Instead Reiner kissed him gently.

Jean pulled back a bit. “I guess that answers that. This could have ended up being more embarrassing than it was.” 

“What about Hitch?”

“Uhm.” Jean frowned. “We haven’t really talked about us. Or what we are. Or what she wants. I mean… knowing her she’d probably extort a devil’s threesome out of me or something.”

Reiner grinned. “Well, she does have nice tits.”

“Hey, that’s my girlfriend!” Jean hesitated, then smiled. “She does though.”

“And a fantastic ass. I’m inclined to do this just to get a crack at her.”

“You’re pushing it, sir!” Jean sputtered. “Wait, that’s your troll face.”

“Is it technically trolling if it’s sorta true but I’m really saying it to get a rise out of you?” 

Jean went still, thinking. “Why is that turning me on? I mean it’s a jealous, sort of seething feeling but at the same time it just makes me more intensely driven to make her mine again?”

“Desire manifests in bizarre ways. I wouldn’t think too hard about it, it’ll turn your brain inside out.” He caught Jean’s chin and kissed him again, opening his mouth and Jean followed suit.

Reiner pulled back, smiling smugly. “There you go, you’re following my lead. That’s what you should have done before.”

Jean gaped at him, incised. “Your instructions were unclear. I had to improvise.”

Reiner snorted. “And how far would you have improvised?”

Jean looked at him and shook his head. “You’re asking me that _now_? I understand your need to troll the everliving fuck out of me, but I think you’ve spent your bait in this context.” 

Reiner chuckled. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Jean slipped his hand up the back of Reiner’s neck, his fingertips stroking the short, spiky hairs at his nape. “Besides. Lets find out.” Jean kissed him again, starting back where they’d left off, slipping his tongue between Reiner’s lips. Memories of the last time he’d done this flitted at the back of his mind and he pushed them and the sadness away. The circumstances were horribly ironic, really, but he didn’t want to think about that, he wanted to enjoy the present. Reiner had been an itch he hadn’t been able to scratch since the kiss on Ogygia.

Reiner stopped. “What’s wrong?”

“Huh?” Jean blinked at him.

Reiner was watching him carefully. “Something’s wrong.”

“Can we just keep going?” Jean pleaded. Reiner’s look hardened and Jean realized he would get nowhere with him now; his stubbornness was engaged. “It’s going to kill the mood.” Jean shook his head. “I was just thinking about the last time… Marco and I... did stuff like this. It wasn’t that big a deal, we were just fooling around.”

Jean didn’t like bringing Marco up with Reiner for a variety of reasons. It still hurt and probably would forever, and it hurt in so many different directions. It hurt because Marco was gone. It hurt because Reiner had killed him. It hurt because he knew killing Marco was what had torn Reiner’s mind to pieces. And it also hurt because he knew Reiner still punished himself for it. He knew Marco wouldn’t have wanted that; he’d want them to salvage what they could from the wreckage left behind by the war.

Reiner stroked down his chest, his fingers hooking into Jean’s greatcoat belt. “So I took that away from you too.”

“Stop that.” Jean said, frustrated. “I know I beat the shit out of you over it, but I’m done hating you for it. I told you all this. So _many_ times.” Jean grabbed his shoulders, staring at him. “Right now I’m more concerned that you’re not going to finish what you started dammit.”

Reiner closed his eyes and sighed. “I can’t forgive myself.”

“Yeah but that has nothing to do with whether or not I forgive you. And I do. In fact I’ve decided it wasn’t your fault. It’s the fault of whoever was holding your family hostage. I can’t even imagine… having to decide between my mom and my friend.” Jean’s chest clenched at the thought. “Although your mom is a bit… intense shall we say.”

“Ah, she got better. Sorta. At least she got me a step-dad who’s cool. And I get to be Annie’s step-brother.” Reiner nodded. “That’s good. I like having a sister.”

“If you don’t mind a sister that’s basically a feral cat.” Jean snarked.

“Aren’t they all?”

Jean considered what he said. “You have a point. Anyway. My point is… finish what you started.”

Reiner attempted to make an effort to shake off his malaise. Jean raised an eyebrow at him: Sometimes it annoyed him how much Reiner’s misery could suck the air out of a room. He threw up his hands, “Okay I’m done waiting.” He knelt over Reiner’s lap and cradled his face between his palms, kissing him until Reiner finally kissed back, and then started to move through shades of hesitant to eager and finally grabbed Jean’s great coat collar around the back of his neck and got forceful. Jean let him do what he wanted until he found the rasp of Reiner’s beard too distracting. “Ouch.” He rubbed his chin, trying to figure out if he liked it. It was a sort of uncomfortable scratchy sensation paired with Reiner’s soft lips and clever tongue. He definitely liked the heat pooling inside him and he’d never been kissed with such force; gentle force sure, but implacable. It was curious and fascinating.

Reiner unbuttoned the front of Jean’s great coat, yanking it down and exposing his throat. He started in on Jean’s neck, nibbling and sucking, and Jean gasped softly, fisting the fabric of Reiner’s jacket in his hands. It was more of that prickly but sweet sensation, a love-hate feeling that was honestly driving him to desperation faster than he’d ever experienced before. “Reiner. You’re really good.” He said, breathless.

Reiner stopped. Jean opened his eyes. The other man looked down at the ground, then closed his eyes, breathing deeply. He shook his head. Then he glanced up, a small smile on his lips, and caught Jean’s gaze. Jean felt a strange anxious pleasure flush through him at the flash of gold.

“Thank you.” Reiner said.

Jean got the sense something important was happening but he couldn’t figure out what it was exactly.

Reiner got to work pulling off Jean’s great coat, pulling it off in hard jerks and Jean felt weirdly thrilled by how strong he was. He’d never done anything like this with someone who could physically force him. He wouldn’t put it past Reiner to do something violent—pin him, choke him—and the thought was sort of enticing. It wasn’t often Jean got to feel dominated.

With the great coat finally off, Reiner returned to biting Jean’s neck while his hands started to unbuckle Jean’s belt. Jean felt a surge of excitement flood through him as the reality of what was happening solidified. Yes, he was about to do something unapologetically sexual with a man he had been fantasizing about. His breathing quickened and he grabbed Reiner’s shirt, unbuttoning it with shaky fingers. 

He had to stop and clutch Reiner’s shoulders when Reiner finally got Jean’s belt undone and shoved his hand under pants and underwear to cup him. Reiner did nothing more, just held Jean in his warm, rough palm as he kissed and sucked on his neck, but it was enough to get Jean shuddering and gasping.

Jean felt Reiner grin against his neck. “You’re so easy.” 

Jean frowned and refused to respond. He returned to getting Reiner’s shirt off, trying to figure out the now unfathomably complex buttons.

“Forget the buttons.” Reiner pulled his hand out of Jean’s pants—which Jean did not appreciate—and yanked his own shirt over his head. Reiner pulled Jean’s shirt off too.

It was hard not to compare and Jean felt a simultaneous stab of jealousy and desire. Reiner’s shoulders and chest were thickly muscled, a solid mantelpiece over a rock column; Jean was still willowy and muscular but laziness and dating a woman who could cook had made him a more upholstered and less cut. A fact he was not proud of.

Reiner didn’t seem to notice or care, he got right to work trailing bites down Jean’s chest and getting his hand back down Jean’s pants. Jean admired the ripple of Reiner’s muscles across his back and slipped his fingers down the deep valley of his spine. Despite the hardness of him, his skin was deliciously supple and warm. He wondered what it would be like to taste it and then was startled by cold air against his hips and Reiner’s warm breath on his lower belly.

“Wait.” Jean protested. Too late. Reiner swallowed him down and Jean was plunged into a new sort of overwhelming pleasure because Reiner was. really. good. And there was no counterbalancing discomfort, it was just all warm, liquid movement and feeling like he was being turned inside out in the most excruciatingly loving way possible. He clenched his fingers in Reiner’s short blond hair, mesmerized by how the light made it glint platinum. “Your hair is really pretty.” He gasped.

Reiner snorted and pulled his mouth off with a smack, looking up at Jean and laughing. “I’m not a girl. You don’t need to handle me.”

“Huh?” Jean breathed. “I meant it.”

“Wow.” Reiner sat back. He ducked his head self-consciously, rubbing at his hair. “Really?” He angled his face and smirked at Jean. “Well then you have nice eyes. They’re so exotic. I like brown eyes.”

“Holy shit stop smirking like that. I think I’m falling for you.”

Reiner chuckled. “Well don’t.” 

“I did want to say…” Jean hesitated. “This seems really one-sided. I wanted to help _you._ ”

“Okay.” Reiner replied. He seemed reluctant. “I’m a top. That’s not negotiable.” Reiner said. “Have you been topped before?”

Jean sputtered. “Like… penetrated? No.“

“Then it’ll hurt. So we won’t do that.”

“You get to make all the decisions huh?”

Reiner shook his head, grinning. “I’ll let you do what I think you can handle.”

Jean snorted. “You’re very domineering, you know that?”

“Yeah. That I am. We can always stop.”

“Nah, you can make all the decisions.” Jean grinned at him, his hands behind his head. “And if you want to make all the decisions then I’m fine with you doing all the work.”

Reiner sighed and urged Jean up to his knees. He slipped his hand over Jean’s shoulders, his palm against the back of Jean’s head and kissed him again, slowly, exploring his lips with his tongue, then urging them open and diving inside while Jean ran his hands down Reiner’s back, cupping his ass then grabbing his hips. They were both hard again and Jean used his grip to help grind himself against Reiner, expanding the pool of heat between them. A move that really got Marco going. Apparently it worked on Reiner too because his breathing got ragged and when Jean glanced at him, his gold eyes looked simultaneously unfocused and intense. “Jean.” He breathed, his voice hoarse and breathless, making Jean shiver.

Reiner slipped his hand between them, catching them both in his broad palm. Jean grunted as Reiner stroked them both, and returned to kissing Jean. After a few heart beats of that, he pulled Jean’s skin back from the head of his cock and pressed his own head against it, using the motion of his palm and fingers to set up a slow rotation between them while still thrusting and kissing.

It took about five seconds for Jean to be completely undone by that. He tried to jerk his head out of Reiner’s grip, but Reiner was having none of it so Jean was left moaning into Reiner’s mouth as that hot liquid feeling came back, rising up inside him, and then burst its banks like a flash flood. After that overwhelming feeling of pressure and release he was hit with an echo that bubbled up inside him, teasing him and making the feel of Reiner’s skin and fingers against him spin up more pleasure inside him.

Finally Reiner let his neck go and Jean slumped forward, pressing his forehead into the other man’s shoulder, taking great gulps of air. “Reiner.” He blinked and pulled back. “Did you finish?”

Reiner was flushed; he smiled mussily. “As soon as you started that was it for me.” Reiner picked the damp cloth from his basin and carefully wiped Jean down, then himself. “I think the sedative is taking effect.” He said, kissing Jean lightly and laying down on his bunk. Jean lay with him, curling against Reiner’s back and nuzzling his nape, his nose in his hair, breathing deep. He now found himself incredibly fond of the man.

The strange bubbly energy fizzed around inside him until it seemed to settle and a thought surfaced.“Oh shit!” Jean lunged up. “Do you have paper and a pencil?”

Reiner glanced up at him, perplexed, and pointed to one of the drawers in his side table/ Jean rifled through it and pulled out a roll of velum and a pen. “I just figured out the solution to one of my trigonometric identities.” He balanced himself half out of the bed with the velum on the side table top and started jotting down the identity that had stumped him, followed by a series of equations.

“Jean…”

“Shh!” He waved Reiner quiet. “I don’t want to lose this. Dammit, I wish I’d brought the others, I’m on a roll. Oh.” Jean glanced back. “Sorry, is this rude?”

Reiner shrugged. “Nah, it’s fine. I’m glad you got something out of it.”

Jean grinned. He finished the final set of equivalences. “Aw, this is awesome. Solved. I’ve been beating my head against it for a month.” He scooted back on the bed until he was sitting against Reiner’s side. “You’re like a fount of mathematical inspiration.”

Reiner chuckled and rubbed Jean’s back. “Yeah, that’s the Vanir energy. You might want to be extra careful with Hitch when you get back, though.”

Jean settled against Reiner’s chest, stroking his hair and lightly scratching at his scalp with his fingernails. “The best part is I get to cuddle you in any way I want and it’s not weird.”

“You’re so fucking gay, Kirstein.” Reiner said, closing his eyes and groaning deep in his throat under Jean’s ministrations.

“Remember in Scouts? I used to cuddle—“ Jean cut himself off. He winced and braced to see the inevitable grey faced silence from Reiner and blank, trembling stare. It didn’t come. Instead Reiner looked sad and pained but still himself. Which, all things considered, was a significant improvement.

“Marco. Yeah, I saw you guys when I’d wake you up for muster. It’s not like the rest of us weren’t doing it too.” 

“The worst part of being an adult is not getting to cuddle your friends anymore.” Jean snuggled up against his chest. “You’re warm, you’re like hugging a sexy pile of warm laundry.”

“How do you function with Hitch when you’re such a massive fag?” Reiner laughed. “It’s like you’re so gay you gone round the other end and you’re back at straight.”

“Hitch is definitely going to want quid pro quo.”

“I guess that game of strip poker just got more involved.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why? I’ve never been with someone who gave themselves to me because they wanted to ease my suffering before. Even Historia. I think she would, but it just didn’t fall out that way.” He smiled. “It’s healing. I like myself a lot better with you. I mean, aside from the emotional hot mess that we’re now in.”

“Historia. Mikasa. The Pirate Queen. And now me.”

“And you and Hitch.” He chuckled. “And Mikasa and Eren.”

Jean narrowed his eyes speculatively. “I just can’t believe Mikasa would ever get over Eren.”

Reiner snorted. “She didn’t. I’m just her conduit to him through Paths. Using the Vanir energy.” He closed his eyes, shaking his head and smiling ruefully. “She doesn’t care about me at all.”

Jean grabbed him, hugging him and leaning his head against Reiner’s crown. “How did you manage that for years that without getting your heart torn in half?”

“Who said I managed it?”

“My condolences.” Jean shook his head. “I can’t even imagine the man that could possibly get that woman to stop fixating on Eren. Certainly I’m not up to the task.”

“Letsee…” Reiner squinted one eye, counting. “Seven people. What is that a love heptagon? We need your trigonometry to analyze this.” He smirked at Jean. “You got a solution?”

“Seriously?” Jean grinned, resting his chin on Reiner’s chest. “Let’s dump everyone else. Sail off into the sunset. Have gay piratical adventures with your cult. And the old mystic. And the crazy cannibal cartographer.”

**Author's Note:**

> Little did they know it was currently a love geodesic dome. Well, technically a love decadon. 
> 
> So here it is, you thirsty bastards, the most excellent story that will never be told, Jean and Reiner’s Gay Piratical Adventures.
> 
> Is this canon to my main story? It just takes someone to believe it, to make it so.
> 
> Also, this has to be some of the most adorable sex I’ve ever written. The two of them would be one of those sickeningly sweet couples. 
> 
> Reiner: You are the most wonderful thing in the world.  
> Jean: Impossible, because YOU are the most wonderful thing in the world.  
> Reiner: That has to be a lie, because you—  
> Historia: Oh fucking shut up before you give everyone diabetes.


End file.
